Thursday, January 11, 2007

Balancing Act...

At about 12:30pm yesterday I received a call from my son's school. Due to the beautiful thing we call technology, I knew exactly who was calling , and was dreading it.We all know that a call from your childs school is never a good thing! This time it was the head of his school. I could hear a screaming child in the background and I cringed once I recognized that it was my son...

He was having a 4 year old melt down! ( I call that a tantrum) They couldn't calm him and when it seemed that he was only getting more and more upset, they had no choice but to call me to come and pick him up!

Sigh...

I was at work, in the middle of setting up a lunch for a very important meeting and I knew my husband was having such a busy day, he wouldn't be able to pick him up either... which leaves me.

Now , both of my bosses are great , honestly. However that only makes you feel even worse when things like this come up. I was told I could leave if I had to but I was absolutely FURIOUS!!

I got to his school an hour later and he was as happy as could be. I had to sit down with his teacher and the head of the school and discuss what has been happening with him. "He is smart, the sweetest boy ever, quick to try and make sure everyone is happy...but (here comes the other shoe...) they had no idea why he seemed to just throw these tantrums" I had to point out to her that they DO NOT happen at home, EVER! I personally felt that they were not firm enough with him, but how do you teach someone to be firm , if they naturally aren't that way?? I love him and dont want him to be abused, but...

I am a firm believer in discipline, I don't mean beating the shit out of them, just making sure they realize there are consequences for their actions...when he was younger and wouldn't listen when you told him not to touch something , I would give him a flick. It was never anything that would hurt a lot, just hard enough to make him react, yet not hard enough to make him cry. As he has gotten older, if i even showed him that I was about to give him a flick he would behave. Yet , here we are now... he is sure to get a spanking, I can feel it!!

Sigh...

My son is extremely smart and wraps everyone (except me) around his little finger. I happen to think that cute will get you NOWHERE without the right attitude. They all think he is so cute and let him get away with murder! That is how we have arrived at this problem, now it seems he knows that he can do whatever he wants without getting into trouble in school, yet he wouldn't try it at home...

Needless to say, by the time he got home. We had a very long conversation (for a 4 year old , that's about 5 minutes) and I took away everything he had gotten for Christmas and told him he wouldn't have his beloved sleepover, which a friend of mine had offered him earlier in the week. She spoke to him and we all emphasized how unhappy we were with him. He fell asleep on the floor of his room crying... when his dad got home, he ran in the opposite direction, as opposed to
running towards his father. I guess someone has realized that he has done wrong... His dad took him into his room and let us just say that this is not an event that will repeat itself again.

The problem here is that , as confident as I am that I am a GREAT mother , I did have my doubts about whether I was falling short somewhere. I mean, its obvious that he spends a lot of time in school which he absolutely LOVES, but it doesn't stop the little doubt from creeping into my mind. Yet I know the situation will not change unless I win the Lotto. I have such great plans for myself, my family and my business and the only way to do that is to juggle it all!

Why cant we have it all???

10 comments:

dix-huit trois said...

hi, landed here after a layover @ Bella's blog. Why can't we have it all?! That Questions runs through my mind all the damn time. I guess we can't have it all under control, we can just try our best to manage it all... You seem like you got it going on though.

bhookey84 said...

welcome to blogville, nice writing style

suburbannaijamom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Omara said...

I'm loving your blog...

Jola Naibi said...

Thanks for your lovely post. I can totally relate to this 'Balancing Act' - I have a one and a half year old and work full-time outside of the house, and although I have not had to deal with the issues you narrate in your blog - a total meltdown in the middle of the day leading to you leaving work, I have had to leave in the middle of the day, to take an ill toddler to the ER in the middle of a windy and blustery winter day. Kudos to you, for combining motherhood and work...you are doing a great job!
Drop by my blog sometime whenever, you have a moment, I found courtesy of the lovely Bella Naija

jolanaibi.blogspot.com

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

You're figuring it out as you go along right.. and so far i think you got it on lock(well as much as anyone can possibly hope to have it)... here's to less tantrums and a perfect year for you and yours... blog on mami

Favoured Girl said...

Life as an adult is always a balancing act. We are always juggling careers, relationships, children, and other commitments. Think about it, the last time our lives were very easy was when we were kids! I think any responsible parent has a huge task on their hands to bring up their children, while keeping a marriage together. Thanks for sharing.

suburbannaijamom said...

like u said its a balancing act, don't feel too guilty about how much time u spend away from home. i am a stay hime mom. i put my career on the back seat for my now 3yr triplets, yet i still have the same stories like u do. u can checkout some of my stories at www.lifeofasuburbanaijamom.blogspot.com

Jan 22, 2007 12:34:00 AM

AmaraEee said...

Welcome to the many joys and rewards for motherhood...4 year tantrums? I have been through it but it will pass. In my own case it happened at home and never at school but it passed. Count the days to the 5th birthday and it will other issues. Hey! He is still a lovely little boy expressing his frustrations with things hehas no other idea how else to handle.

Oh who said we cannnot have it all? It depends on how you define "all"...all you really need you have.

Bluntremi said...

@Dix...Managing, is the key word...
@bhookey84...thx so much, where is your blog?do I need a special key to get in??
@Omara...thx for visiting...read on
@ Jola...loved your blog too...yes we are superwomena arent we??
@ONB...i feel like an old hand at this blogging thng jare!! You know I dont do all this hidden stuff, so as long as I dont get too honest (which is tough for me) I should be alright!!
@Favored...I really dint like being a kid that much o...could be because I grew up way to early (too much responsibility jare) sigh, but I love adulthood, stresses and all. I like being able to make my own decisions, instead of having them made for me!
@Amaree...yes I like the juggle, I think I would be bored otherwise. As long as I dont think too deeply about spending more time with one or the other I am ok...countdown to 5...and regarding his teachers and school...I have a plan!!! More later :)
@SNM... you are a superwoman in my book o!! I dont even know where to start with you !! KUDOS. I shouldnt even say anything when you are talking about balancing acts...