Sunday, November 9, 2008

What does "married " look like?

I have been in Nigeria for almost 2 weeks now and I can't wait to get home!!!

I hate apologizing for lapses, so I won’t. But please know, that I know I should have …but been rather busy to do it.

I am up ridiculously late because I am finishing up a proposal…but I took a break to reminisce on my day. Had an impromptu show on Channels TV to attend (thanks to Mr. Debola Williams for thinking of me) and later went to a friend of a friend’s birthday party at a private residence. The celebrant walked over to me and we started talking. As is usual for me, I steer the conversation towards my family and what I do (I never want people to get the wrong impression)…his first comment is you don’t look married! I get this comment a lot and its part of why I am blogging this late at night.

What does “married” look like??

Since I deal with image, I cannot act like I don’t know what people mean when they say this. I have been very quick to point out that the women of today are not like the women of old. But as a wife myself I know it isn’t easy to look great all the time and be a wife, mother, daughter and business owner or worker. It’s much easier to do when you’re single because your focus is only on yourself. Once you get married, it’s so easy to fall into the ”why bother” phase. I mean you’re already married right? No point to get all dolled up for the man, right? WRONG!!!! If anything, this is the time when it’s even more crucial to keep your body looking right and stay on top of yourself as well as your family. Is it easy? HELL no! It’s actually easier to let it all go!! I have never liked the easy way out so I would rather keep myself looking the best I can, while I am still able to do so…I am known to be very STUBBORN!

Now men, this isn’t just for the ladies though. A lot of men that used to work out don’t anymore…and a lot of flat tummies of old which have disappeared are often blamed on the cooking of the good wife. Mind you, if you don’t cook, you’re an awful wife! Sharp dressing…out the window. Marriage is tough enough on its own without adding the additional changes that come due to lack of foresight or certain nonchalance to staying attractive for your spouse. So newlyweds don’t say you weren’t told…and for others who are in this rut and are trying to get out of it…CALL ME!! We can schedule a consultation!

Have a great week everyone!

13 comments:

Temite said...

I am not married but I hope I keep it together even when I marry. Keep it up o jare! XOXO

Favoured Girl said...

I get that a lot! When I go out guys say that I don't "look" married, and it's my female friends that have to start saying "leave her alone, she's serious!". LOL. I guess I've gotten used to it now and I take it as a compliment, before I used to wonder if there should be some physical sign on my forehead that should tell people I'm married.
Anyways, I feel you totally on how easy it is to let oneself go after a few years of marriage. Recently my hubby commented that I only dress up and look fab when I'm going out but I don't bother when I'm indoors. I'm now trying to rectify that :-)

Vera Ezimora said...

That is sooooo true. Babe, I need to forward this to my friend. Since getting married, she now confidently walks out of the house with ashy feet, shiny face, and butt ugly shoes. I no understand oooo. lol.

Her excuse: Please! Who is looking @ me?

lol

Remi Fagbohun said...

@ Temite...its much easier said than done. The key is to start planning NOW :-)

@ favored girl...how have you been?? I am happy you're fully representing the sexy married look :-) I say , I nominate you as VP - LOL!!! And yes, we need to work on the indoor look too, im just as guilty though...hubby hates when i throw on a boubou...so i got rid of them all!!!

@Vera darling...you need to help anyway you can. Some people actually dont even realize things are slipping until its too late.

Thx for commenting ladies!

bukky ogunyinka said...

I definitely know what you mean! I get that ALL THE TIME!!! I still got that comment today from some guy harassing me!!! lol I don't know why some people( especially Nigerians) think that once you're married, your life is basically over! On the contrary, it's just beginning. I feel that when you're married you should even look MORE beautiful, attractive, polished, trendy, sexy and so on. Set a good example for your kids, make your man feel like he's king of the world when you guys are together, and MOST importantly, when you LOOK good you FEEL GOOD, bottom line.

Jackie E. said...

I was wondering where you'd gone... Glad to hear that you're just out of the country. As far as I'm concerned in regards to this topic, I definitely intend to maintain myself once I get married. There's really no alternative in my opinion. I think I'm too accustomed to taking care with my appearance to just let it fall by the wayside because of nuptials. By the way, check out my latest blog and some of my shoe collection whenever you get a chance...

dada's luv said...

i guess its all this new age stuff that affects marriage today. it is easy to let go after a while or a kid.one has to make a conscious effort. both women and men

Justin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Naijadude said...

Its the new fad: "it gets tiring after a while", hence I dont think I am cut out for it at all...

I can tell you had fun in naija ;) how have u been

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

The reality is that we wives and mothers no longer walk around looking like someone's househelp and that is causing some serious problems, lol!

I personally believe that it is crucial for me to take care of myself in order to be the best mother, wife, friend, daughter, and everything else that I am to those around me.

If that prompts occasional, "You can't be married!" or "No way you have 3 kids!" comments, then so be it. Even I like a good compliment. =)

Seems like you are having a fab time in Nigeria. Can't wait to read more updates.

Remi Fagbohun said...

Thanks everyone for the lovely comments...I guess we are all part of a whole new trend :-)

@naijadude & solomonsydelle...a bit of fun and a LOT of work!!

Folake said...

What does married look like? Pick me, pick me (as I raise my right hand).

Married looks like Remi & Shola Fagbohun!!!

Folake said...

What does "married" look like? Pick me, pick me (as I raise my right hand)

"Married" looks like Remi & Shola Fagbohun